A general approach to controlling and modelling friction and wear in sliding contacts with coated surfaces is presented. The tribological aspects of the main material parameters, elasticity, plasticity and fracture are discussed. The dominant parameters for friction and wear performance are identified and the appropriate material parameters needed for controlling the tribological contact is proposed. A 3D Finite Element Model has been developed for calculating the first principal stress distribution in the scratch tester contact of a diamond spherical tip moving with increased load on a titanium nitride (TiN) coated steel surface. The 3 dimensional model is comprehensive in that sense that it considers elastic, plastic and fracture behaviour of the contacting surfaces. Three main regions of stress concentration during the scratching action are identified. The influence of the residual stresses, the coating thickness and the substrate material on the stresses and strains generated during the sliding process is demonstrated.